The Quote Farm

11.3

2009-11-03T04:43:00.000-08:00

"Finally!!!!!"

-after much delay, the quote farm has offically moved to our new site.

www.houseofblack.org

or just click HERE.

new quote farm

2009-10-27T03:39:00.000-07:00

"coming soon, very soon...insha'allah"

The quote farm will migrate over to our new website as soon as we get an internet connection. So please join us in "patiently" waiting for internet so we can start the fun again.

kisses
the blacks

9.25-Browns

2009-09-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

"I am having trouble even smiling."

Jeff after his first teacher in-service of the year involved a lot of singing and doing skits.

9.24-Hills

2009-09-24T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Why would I ever even THINK about a sugar free chocolate pie! "

-Allison Hill exasperated after Amber told her that she didn't want a sugar free pie

9.23-Dubai

2009-09-23T06:00:00.000-07:00

"This is like pork-pallooza!"

-Brian Washam after we walked past the "saloon doors" to the back room that contains all the pork products in a "for westerns only" supermarket.

9.22 Oman

2009-09-22T06:00:00.000-07:00

Do you know what this means?…dudes

-our teacher after we chose "Dudes" as our team name for a game. Turns out "dude" is pretty offensive and means "worm" in arabic, but that carries a stronger offense b/c they are unclean.

9.21- Oman

2009-09-21T21:59:00.000-07:00

"I...I lub you"

-an arab guy after I had been trying out my arabic on him. Unfortunately I shattered this sweet moment at I forgot how to say "thank you" and instead said "I'm sorry".

9.18-Oman

2009-09-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

1- The two greatest things Russia gave to the world: communism and hockey!

me-Really? Russia invent hockey?

1-No

-a world class non-sequitur by an arabic student offered up COMPLETELY out of the blue as I was standing around taking a break from class.

9.13-Oman

2009-09-17T10:33:00.000-07:00

"I don't understand...dog is good"

-a chinese arabic student who did not understand why the above picture was so funny as we were learning food vocabulary in class.

9.14- Oman

2009-09-14T05:14:00.000-07:00

"they're teaching us to talk like muppets"

-a student in our arabic class as we were learning some of the more "beautiful" sounds of arabic.

9.7- Dubai

2009-09-07T06:00:00.000-07:00

"it's kinda like playing battleship"

-Brian Washam on finding places in Dubai. Here they have few street names, and hundreds of round-abouts and the norm is to repeated call your desired party for more directions in hopes of one day finding your destination.

9.6- Dubai

2009-09-06T06:00:00.000-07:00

"I'm no CNN, but I'm pretty sure that is a dog"

-Brian Washam after seeing a CNN article on the newly found Chupacabra in Blanco Texas.

Click here for the link to the LA Times article to decide for your self...duh duh dunnn.

9.5-Dallas

2009-09-05T06:00:00.000-07:00

"I don't know what kind of love is a "make-out-with-you-in-public" kind of love, but I don't have it."

-Amber upon seeing a couple have a nice public make-out session at a wedding.
ps. it wasn't the bride and groom who have the possibility of being excused from this social norm.

9.4-Dubai

2009-09-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

"it can't go worse...it's fish sauce"

-Brian Washam as we were trying to figure out if we needed to put the fish sauce in the refrigerator or not.

9.3-Dubai

2009-09-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

"because they couldn't float to America?"

-a friend after the rhetorial question was posed "Why does ANYONE live here?", after finding out the highest recorded Heat Index on the planet EVER was about 150km from where we are.

9.2-around Lisa

2009-09-02T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Thanks for bagging me"

-a mid 50's woman to a cashier with some free time who bagged her groceries at a "Sac-N-Save" kind of place.

-thanks to lisaadrianna for keeping a sharp ear out

9.1-Houston

2009-09-01T06:00:00.000-07:00

"you're gonna need to bring some Bob Marley, because they sure don't have any Corona"

-Jeff Brown after I told him that the heat index in Dubai was 156 degrees that day.

8.31-Dubai

2009-08-31T06:00:00.000-07:00

"does it have anything to do with Kuala Lumpor?"

-Brian Washam when asked if he wanted to go to Ibn Batutta (ibAN- ba-TOOT-ah) with us. Ibn Batutta is a mall near our house that means "son of Battuta", and "Battuta" means "fun to say in English"

8.30-Dubai

2009-08-30T06:00:00.000-07:00

"are you kidding, life is not bearable without those two"

-Dave Furman after the movie we were watching warned us that it contained "fantasy violence and risque humor"

8.29- Dallas

2009-08-29T06:00:00.000-07:00

"well somebody has to and it ain't gonna be me"

-Amber encouraging me in my role on our team, after I told her that I was probably going to cry at a function we were going to.

8.28- Okalahoma

2009-08-28T06:00:00.000-07:00

"it's just a chocolate chip with a java name to it"

-Starbucks dude after I asked him what exactly a "java chip" was.

8.27- Hills

2009-08-27T06:00:00.000-07:00

"It's like living in New Orleans"

-Trey Hill after his washing machine blew up 25 gallons or so all over his house.

8.26- Fresno

2009-08-26T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Then why are you wearing shoes? Asians don't wear shoes."

-a worldly wise third grader after finding out that his shodden classmate was infact asian.

thanks to brian washam for keeping a sharp ear out

8.25- Little Rock

2009-08-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Well then how come she can grow all them flabby arm chubs and she cain't grow no hair!"

-an observant southern man, after finding out that Norah Furman (6 mths) was a girl.

8.24- Hill house

2009-08-24T06:00:00.000-07:00

"I guess they find us truffles"

-Allison on why God would make pigs if not to eat them.

8.23- Dallas

2009-08-23T17:40:00.000-07:00

"why bother, its the only way we see him anyway"

-my father in law as the wedding photographer at my brother-in-law's wedding asked me to take my sunglasses off my head for the wedding picture. Thus exposing my closely held secret that I have been sporting sunglasses as a man-headband for the past couple of years.

8.14-the car

2009-08-14T06:00:00.000-07:00

"that would mean something, if their second best movie ever made wasn't The Mummy"

-Amber after a friend recommended the new Star Trek movie with the superlative "the best movie ever made".

8.13-Hill House

2009-08-13T06:00:00.000-07:00

"I am against two things in this world: The Man and The Man's Systems"

-Trey Hill as we were scheming ways to essentially commit tax fraud together...we later thought better of our great ideas.

8.12-Library

2009-08-12T06:00:00.000-07:00

"How about a shushleighlee?"
-a librarian and her ceaseless quest to maintain the quiet.

thanks to Christine W for passing along the ways of the library
love,
the quote farm

8.11-Kansas City

2009-08-11T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Those aren't cookies buddy, they're chips"

-Wes Crawford to a 2yr old kid who was rebelling against the norms of childhood snacking by dunking his Doritos in milk.

8.10-Coppell

2009-08-10T06:00:00.000-07:00

"you need to add the bad driver little symbol"

-Amber, as a car cut us off with the "very" clever Bono inspired "COEXIST" bumper sticker on it.

8.8-Kansas city

2009-08-08T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Honey, it has a cow face on it. You clearly can not cut onions on it."

-Wes Crawford defending his hesitancy to cut veggies on the meat cutting board.

8.7-Kansas City

2009-08-07T06:00:00.000-07:00

"did you just have a barbecue nap?"

-Wes Crawford asking if I enjoyed my protein induced coma that followed our outing for some famous Kansas City BBQ.

8.6-Pickavance

2009-08-06T06:00:00.000-07:00

"They just have no sense of decorum"

Tim Pickavance on the problem with children, after his son coughed in his face.

8.5-Coppell

2009-08-05T06:00:00.000-07:00

"that's Jesus"

-Amber setting the record straight, in response to me saying"No!, No Clifford is not a friend to us all"

8.4-dentist

2009-08-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

"I can't guarantee you that you won't wake up in the middle of the night in screaming pain"

- The bed-side manner lacking dentist nurse chic after they accidentally had to leave the nerve of a tooth exposed after they realized that they will need to do an emergency root-canal on what they thought was a routine filling

8.3-Daskam's

2009-08-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

"they're not like, ride a scooter fat"

-Brian Daskam unimpressed with the level of fattness of the ladies in "More to Love"

8.1- Coppell

2009-08-01T06:00:00.000-07:00

"if you're going to dump out everything in every box you own, you're bound to find the thing your looking for"

-Amber's grasp of the obvious, upon my surprise that she found our long lost diplomas as we are slimming down everything we own to about 100lbs.

7.31- Seattle

2009-07-31T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Real bikes have GEARS!!!!"

-real biker yelling out of his car at one of the many single gear fake bikers in Seattle

7.30- Michigan

2009-07-30T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Do you know Kung-fu?"

-Yemeni English students to a Chinese decent English teacher.

"YES! of course we do!"

-A resounding chorus of Yemeni English students when asked if they knew how to ride a camel, by the English teacher trying to emphasis that not all stereotypes were true.

7.29- Hills

2009-07-29T06:00:00.000-07:00

"if you keep a vile of your husband's blood around your neck, then you probably smoke"

-trey hill's comment as we were wondering if Angalina Jolie smoked, after we commented that upon seeing some close-ups of her she looks much older than she actually is.

7.28- Dallas

2009-07-28T06:00:00.000-07:00

"in the car"

-the world traveling Aliza Furman (2yr) when asked by Amber where she lived.

7.27- Reading, PA

2009-07-27T06:00:00.000-07:00

"that ain't the name of God, Je-HOVAH's the name of God"

-a woman after being told by the Dunkin' Donuts guy that his name, Vishnu, "is the name of God, no?"

7.25- out and about

2009-07-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

"sorry, these diet pills at times might cause uncontrolled weight gain."

-a friend's comment on the possible side effects for an anti-depression medication that also might lead to thoughts of suicide.

7.24- somewhere

2009-07-24T06:00:00.000-07:00

"It's not a big deal she’s just playing with the power cord"

-a friend being new superdad, as his 8 month old was playing with his laptop power cord.

7.23- Houston

2009-07-23T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Are you writing down quotes for your funny farm?"

-my mom as I was furiously writing down what she was saying as we were ironically waiting for her to be readmitted into the mental hospital.

7.22- San Fran.

2009-07-22T06:00:00.000-07:00

"it looks like a pack of retirees painted the whole city"

-Amber after walking past the 1000th delightfully pastel San Francisco house.

7.21- on the road

2009-07-21T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Watertowers. One, I don’t even really understand what they do. It seems like every town just has to have one, and its just a matter of whether they’re going to put a high school mascot on it or make it look like a blimp."

-Amber on watertowers on a very long roadtrip.

7.20- Hot Topic

2009-07-20T06:00:00.000-07:00

"pooping cupcakes, pooping cupcakes"

-Sarah's 4 yr old astute observation after her mom asked her what the unicorn was doing.

7.17- Seattle

2009-07-17T06:00:00.000-07:00

"It's like stoner softball"

-Steven Wilbur as we both were amazed at the large gatherings of very hip looking 20 somethings playing a night kickball on a local softball field.

7.16- somewhere

2009-07-16T06:00:00.000-07:00

"I just wanna go home, have a beer, and wave my magic wand"

-a friend after a stress filled moment dreams of going back to her happy place with her new friend, Harry Potter for the Wii

7.15- Santa Barbra

2009-07-15T06:00:00.000-07:00

"They're homeless, NOT stupid"

-Benji Bruneel responding to my surprise that beautiful, always temperate, Santa Barbra has a very large homeless population.

7.14- Starbucks

2009-07-14T06:00:00.000-07:00

"C- O- F- ......E-....E"

-a high school girl after she was asked how to spell "coffee" while sitting next to her dad typing on a laptop in Starbucks.

ps. I also realize the irony of me making fun of anyone who miss spells something.

7.13- Hills

2009-07-13T06:00:00.000-07:00

"I like the way she dances, it's just that I don't want to look at her or hear her talk"

-Allison Hill trying her hand at judging Melissa from "so you think you can dance".

7.10- Olympic Peninsula

2009-07-10T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Really? REALLY?!!"

Steven Wilbur as we passed this befuddlingly named town.

The likely explanation is not much more comforting from "Phillips, James W. (1971). Washington State Place Names."

The name Humptulips may have come from a local Native American language, meaning 'hard to pole', referring to the difficulty local Native Americans had poling their canoes along the Humptulips River.

7.9-Seattle

2009-07-09T06:00:00.000-07:00

"if you are the someone of the something else, then you probably matter"

-Steven Wilbur discovering the formula for the "i'm someone important" naming scheme, ie: Steven of the Subarus.

7.8- Seattle

2009-07-08T17:47:00.000-07:00

"Exaaaaactly"

-the behind the counter girl at a Seattle "surf boutique" after confronting her that her surf shop only sold the surfer image because it didn't even sell surfboards.

7.5- Maryland

2009-07-07T12:11:00.001-07:00

"bury me back in Texas, 'cause when Jesus comes back I don't wanna wake up in MARYLAND!"

-Ross Bryant's instructions to his wife for the duration of their tour of duty in the Yankee lands.

7.4- Amber

2009-07-06T13:40:00.000-07:00

"I could DDR myself into a coma"

-Amber letting everyone know that DDR is not dead...its just sleepy

6.27- around Daskam

2009-06-27T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Get off that pole! You ain't a stripper....Gonna take you to church!"

-A mom trying to be proactive with her 2 year old daughter who was hanging on a festival booth's tent pole

6.26- NYC

2009-06-26T06:00:00.000-07:00

"I'm not racialist against anyone...'cept Puerto Ricans."

-a new yorker espousing their tolerance and acceptance.

6.25- NYC

2009-06-25T06:00:00.000-07:00

"well, there's alot of nudity....an' midgets"

-Rick Gershon as I was inquiring if we could go to the Coney Island's Mermaid Parade that was happening the weekend we were in New York.

6.24- NYC

2009-06-24T06:00:00.000-07:00

"you only get one bowl for the table, and its 3 dollars to refill it"

-the apostate NYC Mexican food place waitress who was fixin' to charge a brotha for more CHIPS!!!! The nerve...I'm from TEXAS.

6.23- Hills

2009-06-23T06:00:00.000-07:00

"you're my buddyship"

-Brenden (5yrs) telling his dad apparently that he was one louder than his "number 1 best friend".

6.22- Penn

2009-06-22T06:00:00.000-07:00

"you're silly"

-the eye doctor receptionist rockin' a strong 1st grader accusation, after I answered that indeed I was familiar with HIPAA (health provider privacy thinger), I had seen them in zoos and hear that they are quite a threat to those having a raft down African rivers and what not.

6.20- Seattle

2009-06-20T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Uh, we're in Seattle!?"

-a friend's response after being told that the unknown guy picking them up would be wearing a black fleece jacket.

6.19- NYC

2009-06-19T06:00:00.000-07:00

"an' you...you ain't even no *#%#* real cracka!"

-a nice young man who felt the need to go around and tell various people who were standing around the subway station in NYC all about of the atrocities perpetrated by various Crackers. But for some reason he yelled this at me, but in the context of his rants it seemed quite a positive accusation.

6.18- Penn

2009-06-18T08:56:00.000-07:00

"not like snakes, but definitely more free in the Spirit"

-a friend describing another church in a small Pennsylvanian town.

ps. do give mind to the sign in the background here.

6.13- the North West

2009-06-13T09:25:00.000-07:00

"we aren't gonna be friends...are we?"

-a drunk Indian dude after observing that I was "not very friendly", especially after he walked into our cabin on the indian reservation, drunk, at 4am.

we have been traveling so the posts have been sporatic, we haven't fallen off the wagon.

5.30- Grocery Store

2009-05-30T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Debit or Credit?"

-more profundity from the cashier, after being handed a five dollar bill.

thanks to Christine Willard for passing this along.
love
the quote farm

5.29- Austin

2009-05-29T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Do those work by winding them up, or do you put coal in them?"

-advertising dude answering if anyone has a motorola razor charger

thanks to Jason Ford for keeping a sharp ear out for those Austin-awesomes
love,
the quote farm

5.28- Santa Barbra

2009-05-28T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Tomorrow afternoon... that will be a good day for art"

-a starving artist in Santa Barbara putting to bed the idea that artists are lazy.

5.27- San Fransisco

2009-05-27T06:00:00.000-07:00

"those are words to live by"

-Brian Washam overhearing the weight conscientious community wisdom, "do not lick the fat elvis".....stamp.

5.26- San Fransisco

2009-05-26T12:19:00.000-07:00

"as LONG as it takes man"

-the response to "how long does it take" from the table next to us discussing some quality colon cleansing over lunch.

5.23- pre-K

2009-05-22T06:00:00.001-07:00

"Cocoa Pimples"

-a unintended foreshadowing of their teenage years, as a pre-school kid told what they had for breakfast.

thanks to marcelina spencer for passing this one along from her class.
love,
the quote farm

5.22- Dubai

2009-05-22T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Don't stare directly at a baby while it is feeding or milk will go up its nose and spoil in its sinus."

-response from the "La Leche League" leader in Dubai, when asked what the best advice she could give a new mom.

Thanks to Gloria Furman for passing this worldly wisdom on from the Far East.
love,
The Quote Farm

5.21- Highland park

2009-05-21T06:00:00.000-07:00

"because they were AWESOME!!"

-response from a preschooler to his refined, Highland Park grandmother, when she asked why he watched the tattooed bikers walk inside.

thanks to christine willard for this one.
love,
the quote farm

5.20- on the train

2009-05-20T06:00:00.000-07:00

"humph"

-under-the-breath, little confused, and probably a little louder than he intended, when we told the black conductor dude on the train that our reservation was under "Black".

"oh yes, how could I forget"

-the same guy when he came by the next day and we told him our last name was still Black.

5.19- Bruneels

2009-05-19T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Seriously, what can lasers not do"

-overheard while watching the original Terminator and musing on the awesome usefulness of lasers: fixing your eyes, playing your movies, measuring the distance to the moon, starting fusion reactions, pointing on black boards, and killing all manner of evil robots.

5.18- Daskams

2009-05-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Do you think maybe he's a reverse Samson and carries all his evil doings around in his mustache?"

- Brian Daskam, on his brother-n-law.

Thanks to Keri for keeping a sharp ear out on her husband.
love
the quote farm

5.16-hills

2009-05-16T06:00:00.000-07:00

"there are those people in the world that hump their dogs, and those that don't. He totally humps his dogs."

Allison Hill on Mickey Rourke's very strong love for his Chihuahuas.

5.15- cliff

2009-05-15T06:00:00.000-07:00

"that salsa is for suckers"

-Cliff Freeman on the super expensive, small jarred salsa next to the chips on the chip aisle at the grocery store because EVERYONE knows the real salsa is on the Mexican aisle.

5.14- hills

2009-05-14T06:00:00.000-07:00

"well it sounds more impressive to say that my game is requiring me to use calculus.

-Trey Hill, as I was questioning him how exactly finding the area underneath the curve was going to help him win at his iPhone game, Mafia Wars. Turns out he needed something like an average.

5.13- conference

2009-05-12T20:21:00.000-07:00

"chicken"

-a not very hungry patron responding to the question "what kind of ribs would you like"

thanks to Christine Willard for this one.
love,
the quote farm

5.11- hill

2009-05-11T11:01:00.000-07:00

"well maybe their ears do"

-Sarah (3yrs) when asked how she knew that elephants did not taste like peanut butter after admitting that she has never eaten one.

5.11- hill

2009-05-11T10:56:00.000-07:00

"God just makes some animals already IN THE ZOO!"

-Brenden Hill (5yrs) frustrated when pressed to answer how the elephants from Africa got all the way to the zoo in Dallas.

5.8- Fresno

2009-05-07T15:00:00.000-07:00

"My butt must love Hannah Montana."

- A teacher on how he accidentally purchased $30 worth of the same Hannah Montana song while his cell phone was in his back pocket.

much love to the Brian Washam for keeping a sharp ear out
love
das Quote Farm

5.7- steakhouse

2009-05-07T06:00:00.000-07:00

"it's the prize for being a Gentile"

-a celebration of bacon overheard in a fancy steakhouse.

5.6- swine concern

2009-05-06T06:00:00.000-07:00

-no quote, but after a couple of sneezes while walking outside this exact expression was given to me by a woman I was passing on the sidewalk in swine flu infested Lewisville.

5.5- at a party

2009-05-05T06:00:00.000-07:00

"How did you see him? You weren't running were you."

-a friend reminding me that I am not "the kind of person" who runs marathons, after I said I saw a mutual friend running the White Rock Marathon.

5.4- Jackson's

2009-05-04T09:06:00.000-07:00

"it is literally calling your name"

-Jesse Janis after I was asked if I wanted a "Negro" Medelo.

5.2- amber

2009-05-02T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Life needs more whiskey sauce"

-Amber reflecting upon the travesty that whiskey sauce seems to only make on the table whilst accompanying bread pudding.

5.1- houston

2009-05-01T06:00:00.000-07:00

"That Jesus knew what he was talking about…a prophet is never received in his own city"

-Jeff Brown reflecting upon some truth after finding out that Sam Adams is not really drunk that much in Boston.

4.30- somewhere

2009-04-30T06:00:00.000-07:00

"If it was up to me I would have pulled the plug on some of the orphans"

-someone reflecting on various options on how to redistribute their "new" SMALLER income. Thankfully wisdom from spouses prevailed and the plug was not pulled.

4.29- around Christine

2009-04-29T06:00:00.000-07:00

"Money comes and goes, but horse crap is forever."

-wisdom in husband choosing from a girl who turned down a Ferrari having SMU grad for a guy who wasn't afraid of her when came and saw her "very dirty" at the horse stables.

thanks to Christine Willard for keeping those librarians in check
love
the quote farm

4.28- Coppell

2009-04-28T08:33:00.001-07:00

"they're Coppell ducks"

-Allison complaining about the snooty suburban ducks, after she took Sarah to feed the ducks with some stale bread and the ducks snubbed it.

4.27- hills

2009-04-27T18:58:00.001-07:00

-do you hear that?
-no.
-it sounds like some sort of cat.

-Amber trying to identify the unknown whininess that was emanating from somewhere in the distance; it turned out to be Trey listening to Jeff Buckley.

4.24- around jeff

2009-04-24T06:00:00.000-07:00

"I started talking about Socrates and God."

-Jeff Brown on how he found himself excelling at the fine are of "killing the party".

4.23- Waldos

2009-04-23T08:25:00.001-07:00

"figures that something invented in the middle east conserves water"

-Nicole Waldo after learning that the water in the hookah doesn't run dry, no matter how long you smoke it.

4.23- brown town

2009-04-23T08:12:00.001-07:00

"i thought that was your new profile pic"

Leah Brown having a brutally honest moment upon seeing the above picture on my facebook quote farm update.