12.31- playing settlers of catan

"this is the kind of beer men go to war over"

-a friend of mine and his ode to Chimay.

12.30- my house

"that is what serial killers do"

-my buddy, on me thinking it might be interesting to collect all of my toe nail and finger nail clippings for a year to see how much "nail" one produces.

12.26- In-law's house

"The Association of Fabulously Elegant Ladies who also happen to love Star Wars"

-a club that was formed by one of our friends to help women overcome their fear of Star Wars and learn to embrace the wonderment therein.

12.26 Chinese food restaurant

"I thought it was guacamole"

-my mother-in-law trying sushi for the first time almost about to make a very big mistake with the wasabi

12.24- eating out

"I think adopting Cambodian children is easier than this"

-a friend on the difficult process he had to go through in order to adopt a mutt.
ex: an extensive application, interview, home visit, dog home visit, dog coming for a "spend the night", then if they like you, you might be able to adopt the dog.

12.22- Dancing

"Do I step on my heels or do I step on my balls?"

-someone seeking direction on how to step while learning to dance.


"of my feet..OF MY FEET!!"

-the same guy upon realizing that his first query might have come out a bit wrong

12.20- Art Six coffeehouse

"Eunuch?"

-a responce to mis-hearing someone say they were excited about the new movie: Munich


"Eunuch: lonely men in North Africa
or
Eunuch: men and their lost desires"

-a group of friends trying to figure out what the subtitle for the mistaken movie might be

12.19- front desk

"you went from super cool to dork in a matter of seconds"


-a friend who overheard a girl telling me that I looked like the picture of Aragorn in my office. (cool) Then I found out she didn't know who Aragorn was and she that it was a picture of me in medieval battle reenactment garb. (dork)

12.17- my house

"its like saying you're gay, a democrat, and you don't like football...please set me on fire"

-a friend who lives in Texas on why she doesn't tell anyone that she secretly likes Okalahoma.

12.17- staff meeting

"I'm Amanda and I'm an Orangutan"

-a staff member playing the game of matching the first letter of your first name and the first letter of an animal to act out. She thought they were laughing because she did a good orangutan.

12-16 on a ride around town

"Shizzam!"

-a co-workers surprised responce upon seeing what color purple his online ordered work pants were.


"Why are you ordering purple pants from the internet?"

-a collective statement from all who heard the above

12.15- at mexican resturant

"I'll have the viente y dos...I mean number twenty two"

-said the Ohio white man to the waiter who spoke with a heavy Spanish speaking accent.

12.14- front desk

"my room has never been this clean"

-on finding anything to do other than studying for finals.


"she’s a scrubber"

-a dental hygenist about a friend of mine who brushes her teeth too much with hard bristle tooth brushes. Turns out this is not good for you.

12.13- at the front desk

"Wal-mart keeps people in poverty!"

-yelled without solicitation from a student to a group to people trying to figure out where the nearest Wal-mart was.

12.12- overheard on the phone

"Your not hurting his SAT scores"

-Amber comforting our friend who was feeling guilty about attending to their crying kid.

12.12- at the mall

"Right on, lets take back eyeshadow from the freakin' women"

-guy in the mall upon seeing a rebellious Goth-guy with serious eye shadow and eye-liner on.

12.11- barns & noble

"Crowns: Portriats of Black Women in Church Hats"

-a book title we saw in B&N




Quotes from the book:

"We just know inside that we're queens. And these are the crowns we wear."
-Felecia McMillan journalist

"Listen, never touch my hat! Admire it from a distance. Those are the hat queen rules, honey."
-Peggy Knox, child care provider

(ps. you should check it out on Amazon)

12.10- front desk

"Gooooo Socialism"
[with a cheerleaders enthusiasm and voice tone]

-a student choosing an unfortunate way of expressing their political opinions

12.9- hanging with friends

"I spent the day drunk, curled up in a little ball on the floor of my room mourning the loss of my youth"

-my friend on how he spent his 30th birthday.

12.8- friends house

"you have no soul"

-a comment to someone who proclaimed to hate "false" christmas cheer, such as Clay Akin singing Jingle Bells.


"its kind of like you winning the Special Olympics"

-a friend on about how "congratulatory" we should be about winning an "on-line/blog" argument.

12.7- front desk

[sheepishly] "Yes"

-as we were coming up with ideas on how to rid our office of a opposum infestation, a staff member reluctanly responding to the question "Do you really have a cross-bow?!"

12.7- staff meeting

"We played a great game called Undergroud Church"

-a staff member telling us about a game she played at church camp that involved a hidden base "church". People secretly trying to get people to base "pastors". People trying to find base "congregation", and people trying to stop the pastors from telling the congregation where the church is "cops".

12.6- front desk

"I think I will just give someone a hug"

-a co-worker's responce to being asked "Are you going to make a difference in the life of a needy child, today?" by student asking for donations.

12.5- in a meeting

"it's like drinking butter, only with more taste"

-a student on Egg Nog

12.3- out in the country

"A flashing light, four stop signs, and a yield sign"

-a rifle carrying "good ol' boy" when asked what he shot after a night's hunting adventure.

12.2- in the hall

[panting and out of breath] "No."

-a student's responce to Gloria asking him if he was running in the hall.

12.1- campus

"Your not married?!
You have glasses and earrings."

-a kid who looked about 2nd grade-ish to a female friend of mine

12.1- Class and office

"I hate, we learn English"

-from a student in a how to teach English as a second language class


"She is going to make a great wife one day"

-a co-worker commenting on a story about a little girl who was making her little brother pray for forgiveness and repent for poking holes in her pink Disney princess night gown. While he was praying she stood by him and reminded him of other things he needed to repent for.