Thursday, August 31, 2006

8.31- on the phone

"are you going to get another one?"

-a UNT Daily reporter, who hadn't grasped the reason why an albino squirrel is to be celebrated, interviewing me after news that the Albino Squirrel had died.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

8.30- car

"I feel like the princess and the pea"

-amber divulging her true self, as she sat down and discovered her hidden wedding ring in her back pocket.

8.29- home

"as long as there are people, they will be saying stupid things"

-amber reassuring me as I was facing a bout of insecurity when I asked her, "what if the Quote Farm starts to suck?"

Monday, August 28, 2006

8.28- reading group

"It's worth your time"

-as we were trying to decide on a new book for our book group, Brian Daskam suggesting that I look at this book on Amazon. Unfortunately this now allows my wife proof of her superior maturity pointing out that a 28yr old man still laughs at arrows pointing at a pig's butt.

Friday, August 25, 2006

8.24- dinner

"why not call it Monkey Kong?"

-Ben Bryan being stumped when it donned on him that there were zero donkeys in Donkey Kong.

The best answer I found was on Snopes, saying that the Donkey was used to conjure up images of stubbornness.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

8.23- art show

“I don’t know a lot about Physics.”

-The guy selling salt candles response to the question, ‘Do these candles cleanse the energy in your home?” by someone who apparently has tried and tried to clean the energy in their home but is seeking a way to cleanse those deep hard to reach energy stains.

thanks to Brian Daskam
love always,
The Quote Farm

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

8.22- Chicago

"Once I get my stirring arms stirring and my air blowers blowing"

-the coffee roasting dude describing how the coffee roasting machine works, and consequently adding to the very strong Willy Wonka vibe as he was giving us a tour of the coffee roasting factory.

Monday, August 21, 2006

8.21- lunch

"Can I share you with my Hot Tamales?"

-Trying to give one of my RAs tips on how to pick up girls in a movie theatre, but accidentally playing the age old grammar game of putting the indirect object in front of the direct object.

"Can I ride you in my car?"

-Trying to recover from my first mistake, I decided to demonstrate to my boss that "all the cool kids" talk in that grammatical order, but dearly wishing to reconsider my chosen sentence as soon as it left my mouth.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

8.20- suggestion

"do you have one for Texas?"

-a software support customer's answer to, "would like the software patch for north america or international".

-submitted by lungshadow
a computer support answerman

The Quote Farm

Friday, August 18, 2006

8.19- Chic-fil-a

"we sho' ain't in California"

-some suprised ladies taken aback by my southern geniality as I held the door open for them.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

8.18- front desk

"is that you?"

-Jessica almost blowing my cover as she came into a room where we were watching the podcast "Ask a Ninja".

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

8.17- around brian

“Ya can’t get off the bus without your shoes!”

-A local teacher and heinous buzzkiller trying to nag the summer ethos out of a kid.

thanks to brian for keeping a sharp ear out.
the quote farm

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

8.16- training

"gorilla arms....gorilla manners"

-Ben Bryan referring to my very long arms that help me win various physical challenges, and then slyly telling me that I was talking with my mouth full.

Monday, August 14, 2006

8.15- car trip

"a minute of talking to you is always a minute of talking to you"

-trying to eloquently explain to amber that 24's "real-time" gimmick is not that important to the overall story.

"I almost have a masters degree in profundity"

-responding to amber after she was finished telling me how amazed she was with my superior intellect.

8.14- Nicole's

"I’ve definitely spent a significant amout of time in the back seat of one of those"

-Nicole's shocking comment as we were watching TV; she maintains she was recalling a childhood full of riding in the back of the station wagon.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

8.11- nicole's

“I’ve done my stint with hot bodies”

Laura announcing her new commitment to abstain from outdoor summer concerts.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

8.10- meeting

"is that sunday to sunday?"

-getting his PhD in philosophy and ever the gadfly, Kevin's question to a restaurant manager when he told him that they were open 7 days a week.

"yep...that’s seven days"

-the store manager, Thrasymachus, refusing to engage in Kevin's silly dialectical game.

8.8- Chicago

"I guess I'd give him a bath and throw in a toaster"

-Nicole's best guess of how to humanly kill a dog in a country where guns were outlawed.

This conversation took place after reading that because of a rabies scare China demanded its citizens to do just that to over
50,000 dogs last week.

Monday, August 07, 2006

8.9- Roden's

"true, but most of them negative"

-Brian, the luddite, replying to Brandon's defensive statement that "there're lots of things that can be said for MySpace".

-sorry for the lack of quotes,
I've been on vacation but many good
quotes came from it.
the farmer

Thursday, August 03, 2006

8.3- Nicole's

"quit playing Barbie with your MySpace"

-Amber irritated with the excessive MySpace page layouts.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

8.2- around Tom Walker

"I meant kissed, I meant KISSED!!!"

-a friend of Tom Walker emphatically correcting his unfortunate former statement of, "I've only made-out with two girls other than my mom".

8.1- Roden's house


Brandon upon hearing that Brian Daskam does not have internet access at his house.