Thursday, September 28, 2006

9.28- DTS

"I got an idea. Someone throw out a heretical carrot stick and we can all fight about it."

- a DTS professor trying to liven up a 7:45am class who wasn't participating in discussion.

Thanks to Gloria always making sure
we know that Christian academics can be funny.

the quote farm

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

9.27- Front desk

"so how long are you going to keep the boy band look going?"

-Emily Tynes on my continued short hair cut.
To which I replied, "I'm sick and tired of hearing all these people talk about what's the deal with this pop life and when is it gonna fade out. The thing you got to realise is what I'm doing is not a trend. I'm gonna bring it till the end. Now, why you wanna try to classify the type of thing I do 'cause I'm just fine doing what I like."

ps. check the comment box if you are confused

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

9.26- outside of Bruce

Guy 1: "do you get wasted?...Do you smoke pot?"
Guy 2: "dude, I'm from Denmark"

-a Dane indignantly defending his culture outside of Bruce, and also solving the old question of what exactly was rotten there.

Monday, September 25, 2006

9.25- hangin out

"we have very big desert"

-a Saudi friend of mine's understated response to my question of how someone could get lost and die desert camping. Apparently this happens quite often.
ps. take a compass when camping in a 865,000 square mile desert

Friday, September 22, 2006

9.22 E-instruction

“God bless that man for killing Alexander Hamilton.”

-Not that Brad Koehn is pro-assassination, but he felt an upwelling of appreciation for Aaron Burr after staying at his wonderful Bed and Breakfast.

thanks to Brian Daskam for keeping an ear to the ground
over there at E-instruction.

the quote farm

Thursday, September 21, 2006

9.21- my office

"hey wanna see the goodies?"

-Lauren Bagwell's as she entered my office to show us the candy she just bought. Not surprisingly Ben Bryan and I were not able to be mature enough to guess this was the case and not that she was bringing the "milkshake to the yard".

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

9.20- in the car

"I was afraid it would be full of Wal-Mart know carnies"

-having never been to Addison an unnamed friend confessed why they were skeptical of going to Addison's Oktoberfest. Soon enough they realized that Wal-Mart people are prohibited from entering Addison's pristine city limits.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

9.19- California

"I'm a citizen for crying out loud...well not of the USA"

Brian Washam's Latin roommate passionately defending himself with the rarely effective old "I'm a citizen" routine during a heated game of Mafia. As if we trusted our own citizens anyway.

Many thanks to Brian always vigilant even in California.
the quote farm

Monday, September 18, 2006

9.18- front desk

Kevin: you look like Mr. T
TAMS kid: who?

-Kevin Roden to a blinged out TAMS student who mistakenly thought that hip hop originated the bling, all the while he was unknowingly following in BA Baracas' guilded footsteps.

Friday, September 15, 2006

9.15- Church

Small Child: Thank you.
Adult: For what, honey?
Small Child: For taking me here.
Adult: Huh?
Small Child: This is my favorite church bathroom.

-a child who was inadvertently giving a critique of her parents consumerist church habits, overheard by Gloria who was also enjoying the greatness of the Bible Church bathroom.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

9.14- my house

"that's the story of all the married men I work with"

-Brian Daskam on the plight of the married man who is bored and forced to watch Grey's Anatomy

"it is like Felicity grew up and went to med school"

-when I asked him what Grey's Anatomy was about.

9.13- meeting

"I've never seen pants so tricked out…it was like Pimp my Pants"

-Russ on a student who had apparently got on X-ibit's new reality show.

Student: "Help me X-ibit, my pants aren't angry and scary enough!!"
X-ibit: "Tru dat, we seen yo pants and they you know what we gonna do...thats right we gonna PIMP YO PANTS"

Monday, September 11, 2006

9.12- around tom walker

"Ya, Bush is trigger happy, but I'd rather have him as president than, say...Yao Ming."

Tom Walker's brother Ben trying to impress Tom with his political opinions by showing his support of the hawkish Bush over the blazing warmonger 7' 5" Houston Rocket, but unfortunately Ben skipped class on "know your militant dictator" day.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

9.11- hair cut

"a tip on stripping ...(very long pause)...use baking soda"

-Amber's hairdresser as I walked into his salon booth.
When I caught my breath after hearing amber getting "tips" from her hairdresser, I realized that he was talking about removing hair coloring.

Friday, September 08, 2006

9.8- front desk

"this tastes like wine…"

-a moderately excited and not at all repulsed, Indian man as he walked away sipping on our office coffee that had been fermenting on the burner for quite a while.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

9.7- Kevin's house


-the false advertising license plate of the girl who blocked Kevin from getting into his driveway.

"Did you just tow my car?"

-the young genius flexing her amazing intellect as she confronts Emily and watches her car get picked up by a large truck and leave her original parking spot without a driver, commonly called "getting towed".

9.6- UNT Rec Center

"dude, don't you wish vitamins and protein were alcoholic"

-two guys in the locker room of UNT, serendipitously discover the "untapped" market of drunken guys concerned with thier body image.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

9.5- speaker

"....I'd pass it up"

-a very "refined" and "cultured" speaker giving advise for blue collar guys like himself if they ever find themselves in Paris waiting in line to get into the Louvre.

Monday, September 04, 2006

9.4- front desk

"if you want to watch a true Maverick you would watch 24"

-Ben Bryan's response to Josh's claim that the he doesn’t waste his time with "24" b/c he watches important things like Maverick's games.

Friday, September 01, 2006

9.1- recognition speech

"he taught us all really important life lessons…like last night….well I don’t really remember, but I am sure it was important"

–a student in front of a class assembly trying really hard to say something nice about his RA.