Tuesday, March 31, 2009

3.31- Hill breakfast


-Brendan Hill's (5yr) best guess to "geography dad's" breakfast quiz question, "What is Europe?".

Monday, March 30, 2009

3.30- around brad

"they will have to seduce me for the procedure"

-a man hoping for a better hospital visit than usual, is seduced by the "promises" of spell check, and consequently sends a more provocative email than he intended.

thanks to brad kohen for passing this on.
the quote farm

Friday, March 27, 2009

3.27-Daskam house

"there are approximately infinity albums I want to listen to one time."

-Brian Daskam's modest proposal to the website lala.com where you can listen to whole albums for free...once.

3.27-Hill house

"I hate Celsius people!"

-Allison's disgust with "those other people" because when they get to talkin' she don't know what they mean.

3.27- south lake

"Style is just copying someone else we think is cool. To be unique, you'd have to walk around with a sock on your wiener, but even then you would just be copying the Chili Peppers."

-a style definition overheard while walking about the very style contentious South Lake Town Center.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

3.26- around Gloria

doc: you are okay to resume exercising now.
Gloria: good because my pants don't fit yet, but uh maybe in a few weeks.
doc: we see... insha' allah. (the Arabic phrase for "maybe?...if God wills it)

-at Gloria's post-natal follow up with brutally honest Arab doctor.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

3.25- in the car

"come on, as if that was the Wookie way"

-Jeff, who has a deep understanding of the Tao of Wookies, disgusted with George Lucas' inclusion of the "tarzan yell" and wookies swinging from trees in Episode 3.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

3.24- on the couch

"how awesome would it be to have a time machine?...I would totally use it to go back in time and just take stock photos of dinosaurs."

-Trey elucidating one of the lesser known awesomes of having a time machine.

Monday, March 23, 2009

3.23- on the road

"please just do me a favor and get this fixed"

-a cop, keeping Lewisville save and sound, pulled me over at the exact same place two nights in a row for having a broken tail light.

Friday, March 20, 2009

3.20- on the phone

"it's that way with Socialism, you get what everyone else gets...but usually much much later, ie: bread"

Brian Washam opining about California schools having their spring break the first week in April.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

3.19-hipster bar

"sorry hipsters, you'll have to power it with your irony"

-anonymous bar patron upon seeing some Pabst drinkin', keffiyeh wearing hipsters trying to turn on an outdoor heater that was out of propane.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

3.18- on the phone

"uh, NAFTA is a trade agreement. Might you be looking for NAPA?"

-Amber giving me directions kindly took the teaching moment to point out that tail lights for my truck, while possibly made in Mexico, are most easily obtained at an auto store.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

3.17- hipster bar

"that little guy does my pedicures"

-a shockingly large and well groomed man to his buddy after a small asian man elbowed his way in to buy a drink at the bar.

Monday, March 16, 2009

3.16- somewhere

"the only other guy I know who's read it is my cousin, and he's gay"

-Trey Hill when I came out of the Twilight readers closet.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

3.14- library

"At least they weren't codpieces."

-in response to another librarian's puzzlement over Sam's selling Cod Loins.

thanks to Christine Willard for keeping a sharp ear out at Sam's
the quote farm

Friday, March 13, 2009

3.13- dinner

"well what would you call multiple Jesuses?"

-Allison irritated at Trey's grammar skills after he insisted on calling more than one Ford Focus, the Ford Foci.

3.13- Hill house

"wanna dye our hair black and go see Twilight for 50 cents?"

-Amber and Allison's idea for a good 30+ year old goth girl date, and they did.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

3.12- health clinic

"are you planning on having sex with multiple partners or using intravenous drugs?"

-the curious nurse at the county health clinic wondering why I wanted a Hepatitis B vaccine.

3.12- the backyard

"From time to time, I've thought about being a cosmologist"

-after I complemented Amber on her new hair cutter skillz, she dropped her inner theoretical physics desires on me.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

3.11-the funny farm

"Its okay they're Christians.

-my mom trying to console us about her new "little friends", that no one else could see, that kept her company in the mental hospital.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009


"I feel like they are the idiots of the accent world"

-Anonymous' great dislike of the Australian accent.

Monday, March 09, 2009

3.9 Daskam house

"Smokes for Goats! Smokes for Goats! We bring 'em on boats!"

-the hypothetical chant Brian Daskam made up when I told him about the a small town outside of Dubai whose main source of revenue is smuggling American cigarettes into Iran on speed boats and trading for goats.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

3.6- Dubai

"oh, I thought it was a genre"

Dave Furman upon finding out it was not "iron-n-whine".

3.5- Dubai

"I make joke"

-the very funny Omani boarder guard sticking an AK-47 through the window to scare Gloria.

3.5- hill house

“ya, but he’s sorta like a goat”

-Delicately overheard from the other room while Trey was defending himself to his wife for his lack of interest in eating very old pizza for dinner, even though I ate it for dinner.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

3.4- cool resturant

“Is he not a good looking man in his 30’s?"

-John Dyer indignantly answering if his buddy likes sushi.

3.4- flight

-is this pork!?
-no, its turkey.

-not pork.
-yes, not pork...turkey.

-what is turkey?
-well you see a turkey is...(proceed with much too long of an explanation to someone with limited english as to what a turkey is, complete with embarrassing hand gestures)

-so it is bird.
(defeated, realizing my ridiculous explanation)...yes, it is bird.

-an Indian man who was very concerned about the turkey "bacon" in his breakfast meal, unfortunately chose me to get some clarification as to what a turkey was.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009


"this one is for my eyes, and the other one is so flies don't go in my mouth"

-a passenger on a transatlantic flight on why he was rocking the most disturbing sleep pose known to man, two eye masks: one over his eyes, the other over his mouth.

3.3- Dubai

"They said the world couldn't be flat...we say what's next!"

-an advertisement by a company who apparently mis-heard what "they" said.

ps. sorry for the brief hiatus, I was out of town for a week but I'm back now